Not much of a post - mostly anxiety!

My good friend Mark has been yelling at me about my lack of posting, and he's right - totally delinquent!  I thought I was busy before, but now I'm *super* busy.  There is literally no time for blogging, and I'm still way, way behind on work stuff (book chapter review is overdue, super awesome and exciting manuscript STILL isn't submitted, other backed up manuscripts still not begun, and a field season still needing preparation and purchases - ugh).  Husband keeps going out of town for shit (and almost didn't make it home from the latest trip thanks to the weather!), so I've done a fair amount of solo parenting.  I missed a monthly update (Maya's 14th month) for the first time, how sad!  I suppose the slippery slope has begun.  Mostly, I've just been a ball of barely held together anxiety while I try to accomplish the impossible, so this post is basically just an anxiety dump...which is all I have time for :)

(I do write "good" blog posts in my head, mostly while I'm walking to and from work, so I have a lot to say!  It's just not getting translated to the page.  As it warms up outside, I may try experimenting with some kind of voice-to-text app that allows me to actually write while I walk - won't work for manuscripts, but might work for blog posts.  Currently, though, it's a frozen wonderland outside and even with yaktrax, I have to keep my mind on my feet or I'll totally eat it on the ice.)

So a mini-update it is - I took the baby to her (early) 15 month well baby check this morning, and she is still huge: 32.25 inches, 24lbs on the nose (growth charts are updated).  Actually, she's so big that I'm a bit worried about it (and have been for a while).  I know it's totally taboo to write about a child's weight, but I want to keep this blog as honest as possible and frankly, it's on my mind - and probably is on most parents', one way or the other (the parents of super skinny kids who won't eat worry too), at some point.  Maya eats EVERYTHING, and in abundance.  Everyone said she'd slim down when she started walking, but she hasn't.  Actually, she got fatter.  Part of my fear is because we let our cat "self-regulate" her food intake for her first year, and she proved to be totally incapable of any sort of regulation and now there's a constant struggle with her weight.  I do not want the same for Maya.  She's not overweight, per se, but husband and I are pretty skinny so I expected her to be as well.  I worry that the fact that she's not is reflective of my not feeding her quite enough veggies and a bit too much of the fun stuff, mostly because I am suuuuuper busy and have to do an "easy" (read: mostly processed) dinner at least two nights a week.  I probably don't eat enough veggies, either.  However, I also don't want to be a crazy parent, especially about food, so I've continued to mostly let her do what she wants...while still worrying.  She recently discovered the concept of "dip," and wants it always and on everything - ketchup, hummus, rwhatever - and I limit that to twice a week, and try to pair it with a veggie, but it's not perfect.  The doctor said today that she's fine (and I agree), but if she's not slimmer after the field season, I might step up my game (and the veggies - which are yummier in summer anyway!) even more.

Ah yes, the field season - we are bringing the munchkin on real field work in Australia, beginning in TWO WEEKS.  I'm scared to death.  I'm scared of the plane flight(s), I'm scared of the time change (12 hours), I'm scared of the sun (=sunburn), I'm scared of the lack of water (= diaper rash), I'm scared of the bush flies (how do you explain these to a toddler???), I'm scared of the snakes (really!!!  And I LOVE snakes!).  To combat my fears, I have outfitted the baby with as much serious field gear as I could find in her size (UPF/quick dry/seed repellent clothing, real hiking boots with no-tie laces, hats, you name it) and a shit ton of sunscreen.  I have researched the best "sensitive skin" baby products in Australia, including diapers because we'll need a LOT and can't fit them in our luggage.  I've spent so much time preparing her, I'm only now wondering what of my own stuff needs to be replaced/acquired.  This is going to be the most disorganized I've ever been heading into the field…but the baby is as prepared as I can get her!

Field work dress rehearsal - does she look ready?

Ok, I need to run to a meeting with my grad student, somehow finish this chapter review (I'm close, and it's a great manuscript - just a few super hard issues that need a lot of thought regarding how to word my response), and also somehow get my own MS done (also close - but as my father likes to say, close only counts in horseshoes and grenades!!).  I'll leave you with a smattering of recent photos of life - although anxious, we still have a lot of fun!!

We are learning to use a spoon!

Lots and lots of drawing - at her own table!

Pigtails!

Fell and smashed her face at daycare :(