I can't believe I survived last week!
Things have been quite hectic in the North Country recently - I'm exhausted. Things of note:
- We had a fantastic holiday trip to California. It was amazing to see family, it was so warm and beautiful, and I got to see tons of great birds (and even otters). That is pretty much the only super positive thing I'm going to write in this entry.
- We had a growth scan last week to make sure new baby is still developing ok, given a) the potential Zika risk, and b) the marginal cord insertion. Well, baby was HUGE, nearly 4.75 lbs at 32 weeks. The cord insertion looks *terrible* to me, although the good news is that it's super easily visible on ultrasound due to the anterior placenta. Anyway, it looks like it's hanging on to a mere scrap of placenta, and I'm personally not convinced that it's not actually velamentous instead of marginal. However, again, baby is huge, so I guess it's working well despite looking terrible. The other good news is that the insertion is nice and high, at the top right side of my uterus, so baby doesn't have to move past it (and risk ripping it) during birth. Head (and all other Zika-related) measurements are looking great. Indeed, as I expected, I did not pick up Zika in Peru. Other bad (or maybe really good?) news - baby is breech, and at nearly 5 lbs, that's of concern. Only about 5-8% of fetuses are breech at this point, and only about half of them end up flipping. An external version has a higher probability of not working for me because of the anterior placenta, so maybe a blessing in disguise and I'll just get a scheduled c-section at 39 weeks and be done with it.
- I am currently in physical therapy for my broken back/pelvis. Therapy is a mixed bag, in my opinion. Some parts of it appear to be helping, some seem to make things worse. All of it requires prioritizing time for weird exercises, and now my therapist wants me doing stuff in the pool, too. It motivated me enough to sign up for a free YMCA "prenatal aqua-fit" class, but overall, I'm really worried that I've done significant damage to my pelvic joints and that I'm simply too old to be having a baby. This pregnancy is not going as well as my first, physically, as both myself and the baby weigh substantially more than Maya and I did at 33 weeks. I have much stronger, longer, more frequent contractions, even at this point, and I can't tell if that's a good thing or a bad thing. A baby who comes earlier than 42 weeks would be a good thing, I think, but my cervix is a whopping 4.3cm long and very tightly closed, so I'm not holding my breath for a 38 week spontaneous vaginal delivery (and therefore some relief for my broken pelvis).
- I have two scary grants to finish this week, and last week I completed the longest, hardest revision I've ever had to do on an incredibly important paper in a great journal. Pregnancy brain is brutal, and mostly I feel like I'm slogging through mush 100% of the time, intellectually. I'm trying not to stress out about work, but I did have a panic moment of failure last week in which I wondered how on earth I'm going to get everything done, especially well enough to actually be successful. I am happy for all the people who handle pregnancy like rock stars, but I am constantly exhausted, in pain, and trying not to barf on myself (including at this exact moment). It is really hard to work like that - and I still have like two months to go. The only bright spot is that I vividly remember how much better I felt the fall after I had Maya - I felt like a real person again instead of just a broken zombie.
- Maya is in the throes of imagination right now, which is both awesome and awful. She is obsessed with Frozen and wears her Elsa dress everywhere, freezing everything in sight with her "powers." Every night was becoming a loooooong protracted discussion about whether or not wolves could break in through the wall as an alternative to using the door since they don't have opposable thumbs, and husband and I were both exhausted by a two hour bedtime routine of arguing with a crazy person. She's now sleeping on her crib mattress on the floor of our room. Sucky for promoting any kind of adult privacy.
So, all in all, I'm struggling a bit and feeling pretty incapable of doing anything well. We don't have anything organized/ready for the baby yet, other than some diapers, so I'm having my mom come out to help. You'd think that since it's a second child, there's actually not much to do - and in some sense, that's true. But all the clothes need to be located (they're spread across the basement and garage, and it's below zero outside, and the keypad to the garage door bizarrely stopped working last week and needs to be diagnosed/fixed) and washed, all of Maya's stuff moved to make room for it (necessitating installation of more closet shelving/bins in their shared room and a bunch of rearrangement), all the general house cleaning, etc., etc. I think that when my mom does arrive (probably the second week in Feb), I'm going to have to be done with work for the most part so that I can focus on home stuff. Meanwhile, I'm supposed to be training for a VBAC in case that baby does decide to flip head down...? Did I mention that we still haven't chosen a name? Did I mention that the cat demolished the fruitcake all over the floor one night while we slept and that Maya barfed on the basement carpet?
OK, so 1.5 more terrible weeks to get through, and then maybe I start winding things down despite the incredible pressure to continue working at 150%. Combined with the upcoming presidential inauguration, there's not a whole lot to be happy about for the rest of January. I'm just trying to keep my head down, do more deep breathing and relaxation, and keep plugging away. Wish me luck!!!
Some photos of Maya from our trip:
- We had a fantastic holiday trip to California. It was amazing to see family, it was so warm and beautiful, and I got to see tons of great birds (and even otters). That is pretty much the only super positive thing I'm going to write in this entry.
- We had a growth scan last week to make sure new baby is still developing ok, given a) the potential Zika risk, and b) the marginal cord insertion. Well, baby was HUGE, nearly 4.75 lbs at 32 weeks. The cord insertion looks *terrible* to me, although the good news is that it's super easily visible on ultrasound due to the anterior placenta. Anyway, it looks like it's hanging on to a mere scrap of placenta, and I'm personally not convinced that it's not actually velamentous instead of marginal. However, again, baby is huge, so I guess it's working well despite looking terrible. The other good news is that the insertion is nice and high, at the top right side of my uterus, so baby doesn't have to move past it (and risk ripping it) during birth. Head (and all other Zika-related) measurements are looking great. Indeed, as I expected, I did not pick up Zika in Peru. Other bad (or maybe really good?) news - baby is breech, and at nearly 5 lbs, that's of concern. Only about 5-8% of fetuses are breech at this point, and only about half of them end up flipping. An external version has a higher probability of not working for me because of the anterior placenta, so maybe a blessing in disguise and I'll just get a scheduled c-section at 39 weeks and be done with it.
- I am currently in physical therapy for my broken back/pelvis. Therapy is a mixed bag, in my opinion. Some parts of it appear to be helping, some seem to make things worse. All of it requires prioritizing time for weird exercises, and now my therapist wants me doing stuff in the pool, too. It motivated me enough to sign up for a free YMCA "prenatal aqua-fit" class, but overall, I'm really worried that I've done significant damage to my pelvic joints and that I'm simply too old to be having a baby. This pregnancy is not going as well as my first, physically, as both myself and the baby weigh substantially more than Maya and I did at 33 weeks. I have much stronger, longer, more frequent contractions, even at this point, and I can't tell if that's a good thing or a bad thing. A baby who comes earlier than 42 weeks would be a good thing, I think, but my cervix is a whopping 4.3cm long and very tightly closed, so I'm not holding my breath for a 38 week spontaneous vaginal delivery (and therefore some relief for my broken pelvis).
- I have two scary grants to finish this week, and last week I completed the longest, hardest revision I've ever had to do on an incredibly important paper in a great journal. Pregnancy brain is brutal, and mostly I feel like I'm slogging through mush 100% of the time, intellectually. I'm trying not to stress out about work, but I did have a panic moment of failure last week in which I wondered how on earth I'm going to get everything done, especially well enough to actually be successful. I am happy for all the people who handle pregnancy like rock stars, but I am constantly exhausted, in pain, and trying not to barf on myself (including at this exact moment). It is really hard to work like that - and I still have like two months to go. The only bright spot is that I vividly remember how much better I felt the fall after I had Maya - I felt like a real person again instead of just a broken zombie.
- Maya is in the throes of imagination right now, which is both awesome and awful. She is obsessed with Frozen and wears her Elsa dress everywhere, freezing everything in sight with her "powers." Every night was becoming a loooooong protracted discussion about whether or not wolves could break in through the wall as an alternative to using the door since they don't have opposable thumbs, and husband and I were both exhausted by a two hour bedtime routine of arguing with a crazy person. She's now sleeping on her crib mattress on the floor of our room. Sucky for promoting any kind of adult privacy.
So, all in all, I'm struggling a bit and feeling pretty incapable of doing anything well. We don't have anything organized/ready for the baby yet, other than some diapers, so I'm having my mom come out to help. You'd think that since it's a second child, there's actually not much to do - and in some sense, that's true. But all the clothes need to be located (they're spread across the basement and garage, and it's below zero outside, and the keypad to the garage door bizarrely stopped working last week and needs to be diagnosed/fixed) and washed, all of Maya's stuff moved to make room for it (necessitating installation of more closet shelving/bins in their shared room and a bunch of rearrangement), all the general house cleaning, etc., etc. I think that when my mom does arrive (probably the second week in Feb), I'm going to have to be done with work for the most part so that I can focus on home stuff. Meanwhile, I'm supposed to be training for a VBAC in case that baby does decide to flip head down...? Did I mention that we still haven't chosen a name? Did I mention that the cat demolished the fruitcake all over the floor one night while we slept and that Maya barfed on the basement carpet?
OK, so 1.5 more terrible weeks to get through, and then maybe I start winding things down despite the incredible pressure to continue working at 150%. Combined with the upcoming presidential inauguration, there's not a whole lot to be happy about for the rest of January. I'm just trying to keep my head down, do more deep breathing and relaxation, and keep plugging away. Wish me luck!!!
Some photos of Maya from our trip:
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