Dear Diary
I'm going to whine just a little bit here, but I am not actually looking for solutions/sympathy - I just want to vent. On my birth club message board, we call such ramblings "Dear Diary" posts. We have had two major challenges this week, one being that Maya's nighttime sleep has gone into the shitter - not that she was sleeping that well before - but for the past three nights, she's been up every hour between 10pm and 5am, and then napped in my lap (but only in my lap, and only if I remain very still) all morning to make up for it. The only good part about this is that all the extra nursing has been helping me resolve bad challenge #2, which is that I'm currently battling my 5th clogged milk duct in 10 days - quite the record for me! Clogged ducts are bad enough on their own, especially the ones that plug right at the nipple (oh lord, the stabbing pain!), but my coworker just had one turn into a raging case of mastitis and then an ABSCESS in the space of
I love it! Penelope had a ton of hair too, but it was mainly on the top and sides-- sort of a 'hassidic jew' look! haha. Thanks for sharing the birth story. It sounds very similar to what happened with me, with Penelope-- from the screaming for meds at 3cm, to the 'progressing nicely' all the way to 10cm, to the hours of pushing, to the c-sectioning out a very stuck posterior baby. I had the same self-doubts about my decisions and attitude (what did *I* do to lead my labor experience to go so far awry?), but in the end, can't it just be a case of a narrow pelvis and an unfortunately-positioned baby?? Does it have to be about poor decisions/fear/gullibility/other character flaws of the mother?? I guess the "childbirth empowerment" ladies would have us think so! So anyway, it was a bit of a validating moment for me that Eli ALSO go stuck, even though he wasn't posterior and I didn't have an epidural. That opening is just not wide enough, period. Furthermore, I'd have to say not to bother being jealous of vaginal. It's hard not to feel like you missed out (based on the empowerment ladies' testimonials), but I thought both labor experiences were painful and overall unpleasant. It's more like, just because you got hit by a bus, that's no reason to be jealous of the person who only stepped in dog shit. You know? P.s. How is Maya SOOOO cute??? Bring on more pics!
ReplyDeleteThank you (so much!) for commenting with such great words of support :) Actually, your first labor experience (and Heather's first, which was another posterior baby that came *this close* to a c-section) featured heavily in my mind directly afterwards - and brought me a lot of comfort! We all did the very best we could, and I believe you that it pretty much sucks no matter what :) We are all warriors!
ReplyDeleteAlthough ironically - my hips spread sooooo much that I can't even dream of wearing pre-preg pants (probably ever again) and it STILL wasn't enough to get a baby out! The injustice!!!